February 8, 2012

The Sane And The Insane Rivalry

Just a warning, this post really comes from my heart. some may find what I say offensive. Read at your own risk and please comment wisely.

I don't fear none of my enemies
And I don't fear bullets from Uzis
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees and thats the
The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety

I always debate with myself over making any personal posts. Since I have open up my blog to more giveaways and reviews I don't want to off put any sponsors or those who just some to enter the giveaways. Well this is my own little digital space so if I have something to say I might as well go ahead.

Today I had the second worst breakdown ever, it really sucked. I have a history of anxiety and depression, and it has only gotten worse. Nothing has ever helped. I've done talk therapy, two very horrible experiences that only made everything worse. Been on medicine but then the doctors didn't want me dependent on it, so that ended. 

It has just really caught up to me and I couldn't take it anymore. My body hurts, my head hurts, and my family hurts. I never wanted to be this way when I had my own family but it's reared its ugly head. Every little tedious thing I stress over, just back away and take a breath, that DOES NOT work. I hate hearing that. It doesn't just shut off, that's the problem!

I have no clue what I'm going to do to try and help myself but something must be done. I don't want my family worrying about me and I do not want it to affect Korey has he gets older. I just wish I could take a vacation from all the stress and relax.


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1 comment:

  1. You are right, it doesn't just shut off. I would attempt talk therapy again in combination with meds. But you need to find the right therapist for you. Also, don't let the doctors decide ... A psychiatrist is better to talk with about meds in my experience of depression and anxiety. Regular medical drs don't necessarily "get it.". And well some people need meds the rest of their life because the chemical imbalance doesn't just correct itself.